Your singing lesson isn't a performance

Even if you're preparing for a performance, your singing lesson needn't be one.

We all want to do well in our singing lessons. It's normal when we want to please or even impress our teacher by doing a 'good job'; by nailing the exercise first time, singing the song flawlessly, or understanding a concept the first time of asking.

We're performers after all. The trouble is, this desire to perform can really hinder us when it comes to learning. 

On stage it's often appropriate to cover up mistakes, fake our confidence and keep going when things go wrong. In our singing lessons, this invulnerabilty can be the biggest barrier.

Vulnerability as a student

So, what does it look like when we try to perform as a student? It's pushing yourself to do something you know you're not ready for; it's pretending you don't feel strain or pain; it's nodding yes when you actually disagree, it's saying you understand when really you haven't a clue... 

What's the flip side of that, it's saying: 
"I don't really get it."
"That felt a little sore/tight/uncomfortable."
"I need a minute to think."
"I'm sorry I totally fazed out! Could you say that again?"
"I don't like this song. Could we pick another?"

For many of us, these things take courage. I now it's often easier to go with the flow of the lesson rather than speaking up. Singing is vulnerable enough, right?!

When it feels manageable, I truly welcome and encourage all of these and more in our lessons. It's only when you're honest, when you try and fail, when you don't understand, when you're a little out of your comfort zone, that you can learn. 

Vulnerability as a teacher

Now, as a teacher, I don't always help matters myself, asking closed questions which encourage a yes response even from the most honest student. I sometimes ask what someone wants to sing when I know should probably pick something for them this time. We're all trying to please people on some level or other. 

It takes me courage to ask a student to explain a concept to me, sensing that they will probably wobble. It's easier to say "Does that make sense?" and let them say yes which feels good to us both for a split second. It takes me courage to pick a song the student doesn't know or to say "I don't think you're quite ready for that" when they excitedly share their choice. 

Personally, I'm trying to ask better questions and to shut up and let someone process or experience something without jumping in to reassure or overexplain. 

Just like you, I'm still learning too. 

Let's get singing!

Jules x